So as all of you know, Mother’s Day is this weekend. That holiday that can be a celebration of something you have always wanted or a day that reminds you of what you have hoped for, for so long.
To all my momma friends out there, know that I care for you and love you. Know that I am thankful for you in my life and thankful for your example. Know that I am thankful for your kids that I get to love on continuously. Know I will try my hardest to have joy for you this Sunday.
To my own mom and mother-in-law, I am so thankful to have you two in my life and am thankful for the examples of mothers that you both are. So giving and selfless and caring, always there for me and strong. I want to celebrate you, I want to love on you, so please don’t let my inevitable tears on Sunday morning or afternoon or evening tell you anything different. You are two of the most wonderful women in my life, and I know not all daughters get to have that. So for that, I am thankful.
Lately, I have had this different kind of feeling. I have had this peace that I don’t have to force. This peace that is saying no matter what happens, it will be okay. And it’s like I can believe it. Even if just for this moment, it is so good to be able to feel that. To not just say it but to know it, to breathe it in and out and have it actually be part of me. To truly walk in the footsteps of knowing it’s my Heavenly Father’s plan, so it will be okay. However, I think it’s a fragile peace. I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure it’s being held together by God’s loving mercy only. If I lose sight of that for just a second, I fear that that peace will slip away. I think that many waiting mothers or mothers who have lost probably feel this way, especially on a day like Mother’s Day. This constant talking to yourself saying, God, I’m going to hold this together, I’m going to hold it together. If only I can get through this day not letting the words and comments and pictures and stories pierce into this heart of mine.
Here’s the truth though, bottom line, God’s grace is beautiful. He wants to give it to me and all you waiting mommas, you hurting women with momma hearts. I believe he can fill this holiday with joy. I believe with his mercy he can make that fragile peace strong. I believe he can put his armor on you and on me and protect us from it all. And I also believe that he has grace where our human flesh falls short of that. I will dig into that reservoir of strength I get from Jesus, but if or when my human flesh takes over and my weakness breaks through, I will cling to his grace. A grace that he will pour on me and keep pouring on me, it will never run dry.
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9
My prayer for this weekend is that I, and all of you, can resist Satan’s words that tell us that we are unworthy or not enough. Those are lies, and I am learning that everyday. On Sunday, I’m going to remember I am worthy and that my worth is found in God and he alone. I am hopeful that he will bring joy to my heart just like he has brought peace. So here’s to a day filled with tears, peace, sadness, hope, anger, joy, grace, and everything in between.