Year one. Well that flew by! I can’t believe my squishy, sleepy 9lb 2oz baby is now a wild big boy that I am getting closer and closer to having to call a toddler. I want him to stop growing but at the same time am loving seeing his personality blossom. It’s so fun to see this tiny human come alive.
This year has been filled with so many memories. I think back on natural birth with him and am in awe of my body. In awe that I was able to finally grow him and then bring him into this world by listening to that body. That body that I have now worked hard to get back into shape but also feed red wine and coconut milk ice cream to occasionally (balance). And that body that still nourishes a growing boy. Our bodies are amazing. More and more I am blown away by how God intricately put our systems together and made our bodies to function. It breaks my heart that sometimes this dirty world breaks our bodies from doing what they were meant to do. But I have hope knowing that one day we will be perfect for eternity, just how we were intended to be.
From first smiles and coo’s to first rolls and steps, it has been an adventure. An adventure that I didn’t know if I would get to have or when I would get to have it. A year of sleepless nights as we let Zeke figure out this sleeping thing at his own pace. A year of nursing on demand whenever this hungry boy wanted it. A year of continually adding more baby proofing necessities so that the wild child didn’t crack his head open. A year of watching him fall in love with his doggies and all the doggies of the world. A year of stresses and worries but also blessings and comforts. A year of learning how to do this marriage thing with a brand new plus one. A year of lost friendships and new friendships. A year of navigating how to seek the Father in times of actual chaos. A year of growing into the momma and parents that we know we are supposed to be and developing complete confidence in our decisions. A year of finding my identity as a mom and a boss lady and most importantly in Christ. A year of tears and laughter in multitudes. A year that I would never ever change a second of, not the highs or the lows.
Each day I become more and more sure of the woman that God has intended me to be. The mom that God has intended me to be. The wife that God has intended me to be. The friend that God has intended me to be. I have learned that this world tries to tell you the way that things have to go or the way that you have to be, but it is ultimately your choice. It is your choice what you bring into your home, into your family, into your bodies. No one else’s. God is growing my confidence, God is growing my faith – always growing always changing and always anxious for what the next day holds.
But also very content sitting in this spot, writing with a cozy blanket, as I watch Zeke snooze away next to me. Enjoying this moment right here, right now because I know I will blink and the next year will be gone. New memories to cherish, new lessons learned, new roads to walk down. For now I’m going to stay right here and soak it all in.
“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”